Why workout!? Why!????

What is it about working out consistently that is so freaking hard! Darn you Workout!!Over the past several years, I've made numerous attempts to workout consistently - to make it my lifestyle. I've had some months of great success and some months of horrible failings. I want to be healthy. I can see myself being healthy, I love the feeling of stronger muscles, taking care of my body is very rewarding...these are all great things. But this battle of not waking up in the morning, and giving into a little sweet here and there all seems to snowball into a dark world of negative emotion and self perception all too quickly.I don't want to run in this hamster wheel any longer.I have got to change this somehow. But I can't do it alone. I need some help. I've setup to be accountable to several very close friends and family, and it all works for a while, but we all struggle with the same - the back and forth. Not to mention - they're all long distance accountability partners. I've read all the right blogs and fitness articles...be sure to go to bed at a decent hour, set your alarm in your bathroom with your workout clothes (if you're not sleeping in them), prep the workout video or machine, be sure to have the protein shake easy to access, drink lots of water all the time and...bam! You're in there like swimwear, but it doesn't last. A couple of really tough and stressful days, vacations or out of town company and it all seems to just unravel as though there never was a successful workout regimen.Queue the crazy hair pulling out scene - here. (deep breath) AAAAaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!How badly do I want this? Not want with my mind and self perception, but with my heart?"Sure, sure", you say..."that's all good and dandy, but even if you want it with your heart it's still hard". And you're right. It is still very hard even if you want it deeply with all of your heart. Your heart's not going to wake you up in the morning like you're at boot camp. Your heart isn't going to push you into doing this. Somehow, you've got to tell your heart and your mind to get into agreement.You need your heart to love you while your mind pushes you.You've got to get to know yourself better so you can see you push yourself. You CAN do this! You have the strength, the self discipline, the grace, the skills, the knowledge, the ummph! (preaching to the choir here). Just one more minute, just one more rep...and then...hello! There I am. That's the woman I know. :0)Please share your thoughts, experiences and opinions. I'd love to hear your input on this.