Dealing with Pride in Grief
In my grief, I struggled with pride in my heart and mind. I felt like God was urging me to work on this, so I started a series of daily thoughts to help me move away from pride and towards humility.
Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some of these thoughts with you in the hopes that they will encourage you and serve as a reminder of the struggles we all face as humans.
Prideful Thought: I feel validated and important when others praise me for my words and encouragement.
Humble Thought: Everything I am and everything I can do is because of God. As Philippians 2:13 says, "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
It's easy to get caught up in seeking validation from others and feeling like our worth is based on what they say about us. But the truth is, our value comes from God alone, and He is the one who empowers us to do good works. He is where all wisdom comes from, and every bit of wisdom I have comes from Him. We can have a spirit of humility and gratitude by realizing and accepting this. This helps us hear God better. This allows us to love others better and more sincerely.
To be H.O.T. (hot, open, and transparent), there are times in my life when I hear wisdom from the Spirit of God come out of my mouth and am completely surprised by what I say. It can be easy to say that wisdom was just a culmination of the life experience I've had so far and that I've "earned" this wisdom. Sure, I may have gained some insight through life experiences, but I am not the source of that wisdom and understanding. And any knowledge and understanding I have come from God. Wisdom was here first. Read this from Proverbs 8:
"The Lord formed me from the beginning,
before he created anything else.
I was appointed in ages past,
at the very first, before the earth began.
I was born before the oceans were created,
before the springs bubbled forth their waters.
Before the mountains were formed,
before the hills, I was born—
before he had made the earth and fields
and the first handfuls of soil.
I was there when he established the heavens,
when he drew the horizon on the oceans.
I was there when he set the clouds above
when he established springs deep in the earth.
I was there when he set the limits of the seas,
so they would not spread beyond their boundaries.
And when he marked off the earth's foundations,
I was the architect at his side." - Proverbs 8:22-30 (NLT)
It's God. Not me. Let that be very clear.
I have been tempted to let my experiences with grief and pain be the "badge" on my arm that entitles me to this unique perspective and to have special wisdom. It does not. God speaks wisdom to me all through my life. It's then a choice whether or not I listen and learn.
"The farmer knows just what to do,
for God has given him understanding.
The Lord of Heaven's Armies is a wonderful teacher,
and he gives the farmer great wisdom." - Isaiah 28: 26, 29 (NLT)
God is the one who instructs us on all these things in life. Too quickly, we can become tempted to think we've earned this. Yet, even the ability to learn comes from God. When we are tempted by pride, it creates distance between us and others. It severely damages our most precious relationships. And it can corrupt the soul.
When I followed the Holy Spirit's lead, He helped me to release the tight grip over what I thought was mine. He gave me daily tools and guidance to put me back in my place. I learned to express gratitude for every little thing and to be obedient when He nudged me to serve and help others, among other things. Over the next 7 - 10 weeks, I will share what God showed me about this in my heart.
By the way, this is not something I did on my own. I had a few core friends with whom I was open and transparent about this. They read my notes, heard me share the thoughts I was wrestling with, and kept me accountable and honest. I'm forever grateful to them.
I hope that what I share here will encourage you as He encouraged me.